I am not a morning person anymore.

I have always thought of myself as a morning person. Then my parent's lived with me for two weeks in my small, cramped two bedroom apartment.

I typically wake up at 6:15 and by the time I open my bedroom door my mom is already sitting in the living room watching the news at an unnecessary volume. I'm thinking; "Why is she up already, she's on vacation?" Then I try to use the bathroom and my father is taking a shower. I'm thinking. "I really have to go to the bathroom.....this is very annoying!" I start to make my breakfast and before I finish my father sticks his head out of the bathroom and says "Do you have to take a squirt? " I'm thinking; "Squirt.....who the fuck uses the word squirt, that's disgusting." I walk in and use the bathroom for a few minutes, then as I leave he go's back in to finish his morning routine.

As I sit down to eat my breakfast my dad starts preparing his. He gets out a cup of yogurt and a granola bar. He likes to break up his granola bar and put it into his yogurt. Under normal circumstances I would have no problem with this, I even enjoy it myself. Except that my father gets out the rolling pin from cabinet and proceeds to beat the granola bar with the rolling pin creating a lot of unnecessary noise for 6:30 in the morning.

Then I made myself some hot tea. As I was squirting the honey into my tea it made the per-verbal fart noise, at the sound of which my father did a double take and stared at me with a devilish smile. As he is my father I didn't even need to look in his direction to know he was doing this. No words were exchanges and at 6:45 am I do not appreciate my fathers childish sense of humor.

So this dance continues for the next 45 minutes or so, my parents doing something innocuous and me suppressing a disproportionate level of frustration. Around this time I realize that although I have always had a roommate I am usually up and out the door before they even wake up. I very rarely have had to deal with another person's morning routine. Maybe I am just not the morning person I thought I was.