Relationships

Having left my church 8 months ago to pursue a less formal way of following Jesus I have discovered an unexpected benefit. The other day I was having dinner with a friend and I realized that I am satisfied with my relationships at the present time. I have two friends that I meet on a weekly basis and a second circle of friends and neighbors that I meet on a monthly basis.

When I was attending church I always felt unsatisfied with relationships. Thinking back I realize that, at least for me, it is not the ideal place to foster relationships. Think about it. I went to a church of about 700 people for about 7 years. Every Sunday there were say 100 people that I have had some sort of a connection with who I could talk to or would want to talk to me in the 15 minutes before and after service. Those numbers don't add up to forming satisfying relationship.

To solve that problem most churches these days have small groups, another 12 people that I know and should have a relationship with. Lets be honest, you meet once a week. Being a former small group leader I can tell you that it takes a good 6 months to a year to build intimacy in a small group, and by that time people are moving on or the leadership is pressuring you to spin off new groups.

On top of that, most churches want you to be involved a ministry of some sort. Mine was worship team (Teams of about 6 people on average). This was the most frustrating area of relationships for me. I played with a band three weeks in a row with 5 weeks off. It was mostly focused on practicing and playing the music, and relationship building took a back seat. With the exception of one person I didn't have any sort of regular contact with anyone else on the band outside of the worship team.

So there you have it about 100 people that I am connected to in some way that I feel obligated to have some sort of relationship with due to my church structure. Many people can function just fine in this environment. Being an introvert, I am not surprised that I am more fulfilled with a smaller amount of relationships that I have now.

Old People Cursing

If you like listening to old people saying obscene things, you'll love this video.
It's a review of the movie Superbad.

Adding Insult to Injury

I'm sure you remember the shock and disgust that we all felt when the abuse of Abu Ghraib were brought to light. Well now several years later the US military has cleared the name of the only solder charged with the abuses. (Click)

It is as if nothing ever happened. The humiliation that these men experienced did not happen. The pain that they experienced didn't happen. No one did anything wrong.

$3 quadrillion

I must admit I have never heard of quadrillion before, and this is not the place that I would want to see it. (Click)

Life in Dorchester

Sense moving to Dorchester two years ago I have been able to see a side of the city that most don't. Many nights I hear sirens in the neighborhood. The other night a helicopter circled my neighborhood for half an hour. The crime and violence here is palpable.
You don't have to live in Dorchester to know this. The news paper and the news on TV keep up us up to date with the homicides in the city. This year 51 people dies from gun shots in the City of Boston, just three shy from last year, the highest in a decade. (Click here for a map of the homicides in Boston)

One statistic that doesn't get talked about or reported is the number of non-fatal shootings. This year there were 273 shootings in Boston. (Click for statistics)


I know one of the people who was shot this year. A teenage boy who was shot in the face after having an argument with another boy at school. There could have been 324 people killed by guns in the city this year. What can we do to stop the spreading of guns and violence in our city.

Reliving Youthful Memories

Tonight I am finally able to reminisce in the adrenalized show of my youth.

American Gladiators.

Grandiose games, hard hitting crashes, scantily cladded amazon women, and cheesy characters, Oh Yea!!!

Things I though I would never say...I agree with Joel Osteen

Something that I thought I wound never say is that I agree with Joel Osteen......in part. In a recent Slate.com article, Chris Lehmann had the following quote from Joel.

"I'm not called to explain every minute facet of Scripture or to expound on deep theological doctrines or disputes that don't touch where people live, My gift is to encourage, to challenge, and to inspire." from his book Become a Better You.

Lehmann went on to critique Osteen, and not in a friendly way. For the most part I agree with what Lehmann says, I have a similar outlook on modern evangelical mega churches. But the Osteen quote got me thinking.

Many of our churches spend a lot of time, i.e. every Sunday morning, preaching theology. Theology is good and an important facet of following Jesus, but to me theology is best presented as a dialog not a one way conversation. In many ways preaching theology doesn't, as Osteen says, "touch where people live." Wouldn't our Sunday morning be better spend being encouraging, challenging and inspiring each other rather than having one way conversations about minute details of theology?

I'm not sure exactly what that would look like for me. I don't think I would use the standard Sunday morning Church format, but I think I would enjoy going to a gathering like that, non-Christians might too.